I should be packing because next week we are moving. But I don't feel like packing, I need to write! Writing clears the cobwebs in my head and lifts the burdens from my soul. Lately, the Lord has been revealing areas of my life that need His transforming touch. I thought I'd share one with you. Maybe you can relate.
Yesterday was my birthday. We just returned from an emotion packed trip to visit a sick family member, so I was weary. Part of my morning routine is to check facebook. One of my favorite features about facebook is how it alerts you of a friend's birthday. I love to send birthday wishes as well as read the wishes that others sent to my friends. So, I confess, I was looking forward to reading the birthday greetings that had been sent to me. Only when I opened my page, there were none! Even my dad, whose birthday I share, already had birthday messsages posted early that morning.
Right away, I had several reactions. The first was disappointment and doubt. "Does anyone remember or care that it is my birthday?" The second was a more rational question, wondering if my birthday date had even been posted for the day. And the third was a rebuke to myself. "This is pathetic. Your security shouldn't be dependent on whether or not you have birthday wishes on facebook!"
At days end, after a few good friends treated me to lunch and my family gathered to celebrate for dinner, there were many, many birthday posts and wishes on my facebook page. However, except for two, those greetings weren't posted until the afternoon---yes, I kept looking. I was plagued by my insecurities for a good part of the day.
Today, I've pondered this situation, I believe the Lord allowed it to happen. It revealed to me my dependence on the praise of people instead of the more important, certain and eternal dependence of the praise from God. I am convicted, having walked the Christian faith for thirty years now, more of my security should rest in Christ and not be so easily shaken by the actions, or inaction, of others.
As I begin this next year of life, I am praying for the Lord to work in my heart. I long for Him to shore up the foundation of my faith so that my security is firmly established upon Him and is unshakable by the accolades, or lack of them, from family, friends and others
John 12:43 For they loved praise from men more than praise from God.